I came into The Last House one year ago today as a lost grown little kid mentally thinking that if I just make money and distract myself from what is really going on I will be okay and look back at my addiction as just a speed bump, and keep going on with life. Growing up the youngest of 4 kids, I also felt like I never had a voice in my house, so I sought attention outside of the house from my peers, but always feeling a little off and not knowing what it was. I went all of high school and college partying like I thought a normal teen, college kid does, but in reality I was snorting vodka to get attention and get out of my head. My spring season of lacrosse I tore my knee and was prescribed Percocet and that finally was the answer to all those shitty feelings I had my whole life. That started a very dark and crazy 3 years of my life, all the way to a nasty end of me living in my car in the Kensington section of Philly, snorting heroin in order to go to a construction job.
My family gave me an ultimatum, either I go to their cabin in the mountains and train to get in the army or they call the cops and report their car, I was living in, stolen. I chose option A, and so I went and knocked heroin in about 5 months until I watched Christopher from the Sopranos, relapse on heroin and that was all I wanted to do. Without a program I was powerless and I came up with a plan to sneak down to Philly in the middle of the night to get dope. 3 days a week. That lasted about 2 months before I got arrested for DUI and possession. The cat was out of the bag again. I was kicked out and went to go get help at a state run facility in Philly, where I was the only one not from prison, which made me feel like an outsider and not a real addict still. Still thinking I just need to get a good job and move away to be okay. I did just that and had 4 months sober, working in downtown Philly. I decided to go to a work happy hour on Thursday, April 4 2018. I was going to drink, but it would be my secret. Well I blacked out and coped dope on my way back to my rehab. The next morning on April 5, 2018, I snorted a bag of Fentanyl and overdosed. I woke up to an EMT and the director telling me to breathe. It took 7 shots of Narcan to get me back. That was my last day of using. From the hospital I went to a wilderness program in North Carolina for 90 days and that’s where they told me about The Last House and I am so grateful they did. I have grown so much as a person and a man the past year because of The Last House and AA. They taught me patience and to find a way to sit with myself first, before I try to go get a job and distract myself. The Last House showed me what it actually means to work a true program. Having a brotherhood and community to lean on when times are tough and when things are great. From alumni, to staff, to roommates, the relationships I have today in my life are the best I have ever had. I love this place and I am so proud to call it my home.