My name is Miles and am 31 years old. I have been sober since November 11, 2014. I am an alcoholic and also used other drugs. My drug of choice was Crystal Meth. Before coming to The Last House, I was at an all-time low. My life was becoming more and more unmanageable. I had been using drugs every day for 5 years. I was able to function as an addict for some time but little by little problems would come up. I burned all my bridges, no one wanted anything to do with me. At the end my car was repossessed, I received an eviction notice and become homeless all within 2 months. For most people this would be a bottom but I continued using. I always said to myself “it’s not that bad yet” but that was my addiction speaking.
My first time in treatment was at the age of 15. I was using meth and was stealing from my mom. She caught me stealing from her and immediately sent me to treatment. This was my first introduction to AA. I did not believe I was an addict at this time, I was simply going to treatment to guilt trip my family. I was playing the sympathy card and manipulating my family. I was not ready to get sober and not ready to surrender. As soon as I got out of treatment I continued to use.
Two weeks later I was arrested for smoking meth in a parking structure. I then was introduced to juvenile hall. After being sentenced I started to go to meetings and contribute in my Alumni treatment center. I was staying sober but again was not doing it for me, I just didn’t want to go back to jail. I managed to put 2 years of sobriety under my belt. At the age of 18 I was released from probation and continued to use drugs more than ever. What lead to this relapse was me not putting in work on myself and not taking my addiction serious. I wanted to have fun with my friends and did not think it was possible without drugs.
I was using for 3 years and then ended up getting arrested again and went to back to jail at the age of 21. After I was out of jail I was able to stay sober again for around 1 year. I went to sober living in Costa Mesa. This sober living was very relaxed and all I had to do is pay rent and check-in once a week. There was no structure at all. At this sober living I knew others were using but ignored it due to me being on probation. As soon as I was released from probation I ended up relapsing with guys in the house. The same cycle started over again. After this relapse I would not get sober till the age of 27.
November 11, 2014, I did what every grown man does and called my mom for help. My mom was waiting for this call for years. I called her because I was at the end of the road, it was either be homeless, eventually go to jail or die. She picked me up and took me to detox. In my head I felt regret because I was taking the one thing I relied on the most away “METH”. I did not know how to function without this. My first few days in detox I stayed to myself and slept for 3 days. My plan in the back of my head was to get a few days sober and then go back at it one more time. After detox I was taken to a structure sober living. I walked in to sober living on November 14 2014 and have been sober since.
Becoming a new person was not easy, I had to learn how to live life all over again. My old ways were not going to work anymore. The guys in the house were very welcoming and had my best interest. At first, I didn’t want to hear what others told me and let my ego get the best of me. I would always try to run from my problems and not face them. I didn’t want to work on myself at all. So many times, I wanted to give up, but my brothers carried me through the toughest times. Accountability and integrity are two things I never had. I didn’t know how to be honest nor how to do the right thing. Two months into sober living my mind set was to leave and get high, it was about 6 months sober that I decided this life is actually a lot more attractive. I surrendered and left into god’s hands. My life started to mean something to me, I started to realize how important family is. I treated my family like crap my whole life and pointed the finger at everyone else. Today I get to show up for them and be a part of their lives.
I feel it was very important for me to invest time in working on myself without any distractions from the outside world. Being able to take direction from others and trust things are going to be okay. Cleaning up the wreckage of my past was not easy and didn’t happen overnight. I had to put trust and faith into others. If you are struggling and you are sick of the never-ending cycle of relapse there is hope for you. I used drugs for 14 years and never in a million years thought my life would be as blessed as it is today. I surround myself with good people, I show up for my family, and I am able to show up to work on time every day. My house is in order today. This past 4 years has been a journey and I thank The Last House community for showing me a new way of life and how to become a new man.