Entering the last house, I was consumed with ego, jealousy and resentment. These defects of character caused me to be extremely uncomfortable in a sober state, but my mind continued to play games with me, telling me that drugs and alcohol were not an escape but a way for me to have fun. I saw nothing but differences in those around me, my roommates and members of AA. My anger and resentment pushed me to isolate from others, silently judge, then blow up on those around me, in an effort to control my situation and remain in power, through my time with the Last House and through the steps of AA, I no longer feel a deep misunderstanding with the world. My resentment towards others doesn’t fuel my anger and ego, but instead is questioned, and I am able to examine my part on almost everything I do or experience day today. I know full heartedly I am an alcoholic and without God, AA and a group of supportive men in my life I will be miserable, which will lead me to relapse. My honesty and integrity was put on front stage at the Last House. I have been able to see how living to the principles of compassion, integrity and selflessness, not only create more meaningful and deeper relationships with others, but also with my self. I have faith in spirituality in my life, which allows me to not feel that I am going against the grain, but with the correct path I was always supposed to be. I have begun to have a full change in perspective.
