Our parents always told us not to lie, and if we have kids, we’ve probably told them the same thing. Funny, then, that with all this telling each other not to lie, we still have all managed to do so somehow.
Lying is innate, unfortunately. It’s human nature to want to avoid pain and discomfort, and we lie as a way of doing that. In sober living, however, lying just can’t fly if we’re truly looking to maximize the impact of our lives after we graduate.
The Big Book notes three things as the essentials of recovery. “Willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery,” it says.
In sober living, we take that to heart.
None of us are mind readers– not the mentors at the sober living house, not other staff members, and not the brothers that we live with. That means that if we don’t tell the truth, or we tell ourselves mistruths so much that we believe them, we can’t get help– because no one will know. Sober living requires us to be completely transparent in order to grow, much like initial treatment. The wonderful part about both is that they’re judgment free zones, and our transparency and honesty can only put us in a better position. When we’re honest and transparent in sober living, mistakes can become teaching moments, and whatever we’re dealing with can help someone else. We’re a unit, and units grow by contributing to each other. Our honesty allows us to make those contributions.
Honesty is transformative. If we can learn to be honest with ourselves in sober living, where rules are a lot more stringent and everything we do is steeped in accountability, we’ll be more than ready for the real world, where honesty isn’t necessarily something that always seems to make sense, but dishonesty always yields far worse results. Remember, sober living is nothing if it isn’t a platform to prepare us for the rest of our lives. Learning to be honest with ourselves and others is one of the easiest choices we can make, but it can open up a world of opportunity.
The Last House is a men’s sober living facility based in West Los Angeles. We help men become the very best versions of themselves that they can be by championing unity, teaching life skills, and providing peer support. Life after treatment is ours to conquer. Call 1-866-677-0090 to get started today!