Learning to Make Lemonade out of Lemons

by Recoverytreatment


Learning to Make Lemonade out of Lemons

Helplessness is a learned behavior– but it’s one that many of us, thanks to the power of addiction, learn all too well. The Big Book describes helplessness as the last step before we turn ourselves and addiction over to a higher power: “Having reduced us to a state of absolute helplessness, you now declare that none but a Higher Power can remove our obsession.” In treatment, we learn a number of strategies to help us defeat helplessness. These strategies include things like making amends, forgiving ourselves, and learning to dig deep inside of ourselves to uncover latent issues that may have contributed to our substance use in the first place. While we learn these strategies in treatment, there’s nothing like an environment that allows us to practice them firsthand, before diving into the real world on our own.

Sober living provides just the environment.

In sober living communities like the one The Last House provides, we truly believe that practice makes perfect, and that if we’re going to learn how to turn life’s lemons into lemonade, we’ve got to know the recipe first. Just as addiction “taught” us helplessness, we have to continue to teach ourselves to be resourceful, independent, and self-reliant, even after initial treatment. We have to learn that helplessness doesn’t define us, and that even if it’s a trait we acquired long before addiction or treatment, in no way do we have to be stuck with it.

The sober living community serves as a training ground for recovery warriors– or at least that’s how we see it. Men come into sober living communities like The Last House after treatment on a mission to better themselves, and we put them up to the challenge on a daily basis. We teach men to make lemons out of lemonade by providing them with the tools they need to see themselves not as recovered from an illness, but as conquerors.

In our eyes, the three concepts we champion in everything we do– unity, peer support, and life skills– stand at the intersection of helplessness and self-reliance, and learning them allows us to unlock our true potential as men. Consider these components the three ingredients in our “lemonade” recipe!

What does turning lemons into lemonade actually mean?

Addicted or not, post-treatment or in treatment, like throws a heck of a lot at all of us all the time. Bills, job struggles, issues with our kids, temptations, trust issues, missed dinner reservations (okay, maybe the last one isn’t quite so bad). The point is, we all have to deal with the rat race of life on a normal basis, and for those of us in recovery, each new curveball that life throws at us could present a bit of a challenge. Think about it: for many of us, before treatment, our go-to coping mechanism whenever we were faced with an obstacle might have been to use the substance we were addicted to. Now that we’ve conquered that addiction, we have to continue to learn how to fill that void with healthy strategies and habits that will help us turn life’s would-be challenges into opportunities to grow in recovery.

This isn’t an overnight process, and it takes a lot of additional practice and trial and error to get right, even after initial treatment. Sober living helps us learn these strategies by providing us with a template for success. Learning how to rely on and support others (unity), practicing practical life skills, and understanding the importance of having the right people around us (peer support) helps us learn how to turn life’s lemons into lemonade.

Understanding the three concepts

We say it all the time: no man is an island. Unity is a must in recovery, and it plays a particularly large role in helping us make the most out of situations we’re faced with post-treatment. As The Big Book says- “our common welfare should come first, personal recovery depends upon… unity.”

So, how’s unity help us make lemonade out of lemons? Because it gives us a brother to lean on when we need help. It allows to communicate our feelings, what we’re struggling with, and what we’re worried about. Unity teaches how to hold one another up, and to turn to others when we need help, instead of just relying on ourselves. As The Big Book says, “if we ever were to feel emotionally secure among grown-up people, we would have to put our lives on a give-and-take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us.” Unity tells us it’s okay to get and receive help in our recovery journey, and knowing where and how to get help is a fundamental part of being able to make the most of life’s lemons.

As for learning life skills and the importance of peer support, the two practically go hand in hand. Learning life skills like accountability and responsibility helps breed confidence in us, and having peers around to support us in learning these things affirms that we’re going in the right direction. Confidence and affirmation in our progress reassures us that, when the time comes, we’ll be ready to handle anything life throws at us. Knowing that we have the skills to turn life’s lemons into lemonade–even if our stubborn minds are telling us we don’t– is a fundamental part of doing it!

The Last House is a premier men’s sober living facility in West Los Angeles that gives men the skills they need to turn life’s lemons into lemonade (and be gentlemen in doing it). Call us at 1-866-677-0090 to find out how we can help you today!

Attitude Makes all the Difference

by Recoverytreatment


Attitude Makes all the Difference

Attitude is probably the single most important concept of recovery. Sound like a bold statement? Not so much! The Big Book mentions the word “attitude” almost forty times, with one key thread: that once we’ve truly recovered, “our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.” Recovery isn’t just about getting over our addictions, or learning the skills we need to live life afterwards without going back to substances. It’s also about adopting an attitude and mindset that allows us to truly make the most out of life post-treatment. After all, what good is treatment if we only return to life as hollow shells, too scared or timid to live to the fullest, not enjoying ourselves but merely existing?

In sober living, much like the real world, attitude determines our altitude. As a midpoint between treatment and life on our own, sober living communities are designed to teach us how to adopt the attitudes that will benefit us the most after graduation. Many of us mistakenly assume that a successful treatment process automatically means an easy, smooth transition to life afterwards, but this simply isn’t the case!

Why is attitude so important?

Remember the little engine that could? “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” went all the way up the hill with nothing but willpower. We can all take a lesson or two from this popular children’s story– even if it is so old our kids can barely remember it. Attitude, as The Big Book puts it, helps us see “immediate and practical results”– especially when we adopt the right one. With the right attitude, steps that may seem difficult post-treatment become a challenge, instead of an obstacle. As it pertains to sober living, the right attitude allows us to continue to learn about ourselves, diagnose our strengths and weaknesses, and improve who we are as men, without getting caught in a slippery pride pit. If that isn’t enough, attitude is so important because it’s such a fundamental part of our development in recovery! As The Big Book puts it: “To get over drinking (read: any addiction) will require a transformation of thought and attitude.” You can’t get very far in recovery without the right attitude, and even if you somehow manage to get through initial treatment without a significant change in attitude, it will have to change quickly post-treatment in order for you to see any real results. Remember, recovery is a lifelong process. Attitude only gets more important as you progress!

How does sober living change my attitude?

When we’re addicted to something, it can be hard for us to see past what we crave. We often find that doing the things we used to love doing becomes impossible, and that our lives transition to being solely at the whim of the substance we use. Through addiction treatment, we learn to regain control over our lives and rebuild the confidence that our addiction took from us, but only to the extent that the treatment facility can provide. With both inpatient and outpatient care, we learn how to regain confidence and control over our lives, but we don’t always get as much practice with these things in the real world as we need. Because our attitudes are tied to not only what we think, but what we experience, this could make adjusting to life afterwards a bit more difficult.

Sober living picks us up where treatment ends, and provides an environment that allows us to get the real world experience we need in order for our attitudes to adjust. Here at The Last House, we encourage the men in our program to step outside of their comfort zones all the time. In doing this, we instill confidence and help them understand that life after treatment isn’t a scary place, or one where they won’t fit in– it’s one where they’ll excel. Positive affirmation combined with positive experiences makes a world of difference in attitude!

In sober living, we live by one simple rule: we want to have the ability to live the best life we possibly can after graduation, free of distractions, temptations, and, of course, substances. We don’t just wish that and leave it alone, though. It isn’t some lofty goal that we write above the stairway and pat everytime we leave the house. It’s something we actualize– and we do it in large part by attitude. Everyday we live to get one step closer to our goal, and we learn to rely on our brothers to keep us accountable and make sure we’re constantly moving forward. We don’t take no for an answer, and we build the confidence we need to not just fight our problems, but to conquer them. We become gentlemen, scholars, and world-changers right there in the community living room, or around the dining room table at evening dinner. When we go to work, it’s not just the tools of the trade that we carry with us– it’s also the attitude that today will be more, mean more, and achieve more than any other day we’ve seen.

In just about everything, attitude makes all the difference in the world. It’s the difference between fear and confidence, success and failure, and living life or letting it live you. With the right attitude, our best lives are always just ahead of us, and everyday is a great day to change the world.

The Last House is a men’s sober living facility in West Los Angeles with one goal– making you the best man you can be. Call us at 1-866-677-0090 to find out how we can help you today!

Stepping Outside of Our Comfort Zones

by addictionRecovery
Stepping Outside of Our Comfort Zones

We all like being comfortable. It’s part of being human. We enjoy relaxation, peaceful people, and serene environments. Comfort is great for a lot of things. It can help us destress, rethink, or simply catch up on rest– all of which is very important.

However, when it comes to sober living, sometimes the only way for us to make the changes we really need to make in our lives is to step outside of our comfort zones.

We won’t always tell ourselves this, because– let’s be honest– we don’t always like to hear that we need to put in the effort to get the results we want. In fact, sometimes, we’re more willing to be comfortable than to put in a little extra work. Like The Big Book says, “whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness.”

Here at The Last House, however, we forge recovery warriors– men who have not only dominated their addictions, but who also have no problem dominating anything else life throws at them.

In our sober living community, we understand that in order to become those warriors, sometimes we have to go through the fire to make us stronger. Going through the fire means working through our fallacies with the help of our brothers and our mentors, instead of trying to cover them up or avoid them. It means taking uncomfortable steps that we wouldn’t have normally taken to learn lessons that we wouldn’t have been able to learn otherwise. Some of us may have recently graduated school and never applied for a job before. Boom. Perfect risk to take here in sober living. Others of us have put down the bottle or the pills, but still use nicotine as a way to cope. There’s no other place to wean ourselves off of the stuff than around our brothers in sober living. Taking these risks may seem difficult, but the benefit we receive at the end more than makes up for it.

Stepping outside of our comfort zones in sober living can produce wonderful results, and make us stronger and more confident in our recovery journey. Remember, fire really does sharpen iron!

The Last House is a men’s sober living facility in sunny West Los Angeles. We help men learn how to step outside of their comfort zones and make the most out of their lives post-treatment. When men graduate from our program, they’re ready to conquer anything life throws at them with tact, grace, and confidence. Call 1-866-677-0090 to get started with us today!

Learning to Love the Man You Are (Again)

by RecoveryUncategorized
Learning to Love the Man You Are (Again)

Men need love too, believe it or not.

It’s something we don’t often think about, what with focusing on our responsibilities, trying to provide for others, and being as macho as we possibly can be, 24/7. You can’t really blame us, after all. We grew up hearing things like “crying is for girls,” and “real men don’t feel pain.” Being called a “mama’s boy” wasn’t a compliment from anyone (except maybe Mom), and not playing sports may or may not have gotten us roughed up by the middle school/ high school/ college jocks.

This concept of men needing no one, no sympathy, and no love has been ingrained in our DNA for almost as long as time itself.

There’s a line, however, and, particularly in recovery, it’s important that we remember that line more than anything. Aside from the machismo that is our manhood, there’s a side of us that also needs help. It needs reassurance. It needs affirmation. Through treatment for addiction, we learn the methods and strategies to address deep-seeded issues that may have caused us to abuse substances. We also learn strategies for self-care, how to make amends with those that we’ve hurt, and how to move from our past and into our future. But there are things that, before graduating from treatment and diving headfirst into the real world, we need more of.

Sober living communities like the one we foster at The Last House focus on helping men build the intangible qualities they need to excel in life after treatment by changing up the rhetoric. We provide help that keeps men’s spirits high and doesn’t crush their independence. We provide an environment that spells out the definitive difference between relying on others for help, and collaborating with others for strength. Most importantly, we teach men that they are amazing in and of themselves, and that each and every single one of them has unique talents that can and will make a difference in his community.

We are by no means a soft, easy option for men after treatment. As The Big Book states, “Love and tolerance is our code”– but we implement that code through rules, accountability, and unity. The way we see it, sometimes it takes getting our hands dirty in order to strike gold. Sober living isn’t a cakewalk, and it can be tough to adapt to doing things a new way, in a new environment, with new people. However, by forging through, our men find peace, direction, unity– and a whole new way to love themselves.

How can I learn to love the man I am?

Love is a central component of recovery. It’s mentioned almost sixty times in The Big Book, and for good reason. Love is one of the only emotions that can keep us going even when everything else tells us to stop. It’s the reason our spouses put up with us, why we’d do anything for our kids, and why we’d go to hell and back for our family members. However, when addicted, we often act in a way that’s anything but loving, and in treatment we take the steps to make up for those actions. These actions certainly weren’t our fault, but telling ourselves that and believing it enough to not just forgive ourselves, but to love ourselves again can be difficult to accomplish. Yet if we never learn to love ourselves again– for flaws and all– we can’t say with confidence that we’re ready to move on into a world that can be anything but loving. In sober living, we learn to love ourselves for the people we are, the qualities we have, and the meaningful contributions we will make. We learn to love our mistakes, because they are what allow us to improve ourselves. We learn to love correction, mentoring, discipline, and brotherhood.

At The Last House, we accomplish this by providing an ideal balance of structure and freedom for the men that live with us. We encourage our men to push their boundaries, but provide the resources they need to do so with confidence and charisma. We champion growth, because when we can see growth as men, we tend to love the men we’ve grown into. Our men are taught to do everything they do with a purpose, and to never doubt their ability to do it. We also foster an environment of brotherhood and accountability, so each man knows he has the next to count on.

Learning to love the man you are doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your machismo, confidence, or independence. In fact, by learning to love the man you are, all of the qualities that make you uniquely you are enhanced. Escaping from addiction’s death grip and getting the treatment you needed to beat your illness for good was an invaluable step in your recovery process, but your recovery shouldn’t end there. Use the resources that sober living provides to prepare yourself for life after treatment. Through unity, brotherhood, and the right environment, you can learn to love the man you are, and become the man that you’ve always wanted to be.

The Last House is a premier men’s sober living facility in West Los Angeles. Our mentors and staff come from an array of backgrounds, but we all have one common goal: transforming men into the best versions of themselves they’ve ever been. To see how we can help you, call us today at 1-866-677-0090!

Goodbye Doubt, Hello Hope

by Recoverytreatment

Goodbye Doubt, Hello Hope

The very beginning of The Big Book’s third edition makes a bold assertion that describes the path from addiction to recovery: “Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.”

For many of us, hope was never something we considered while addicted. To be hopeful was to expect better days, and to look for more to come even in a situation that seemed grim. No– we merely survived during our addiction. We went through the motions of living, but the only thing that was functioning properly was our physical body, and even that showed signs of deterioration. Our mind and our soul were both gone, taken hostage by a substance that we’d thought was our savior.

Somehow, however, we managed to say that we needed help, and with the guidance of family members, friends, loved ones, and professionals, we got that help from an addiction treatment center. We learned how to look deep inside of ourselves to identify flaws, triggers, and imbalances that may have led us to use substances in the first place. We learned to forgive ourselves for the actions we could not control during our addiction, and how to make things right with the ones we’d hurt. We learned to free ourselves from addiction, and to love ourselves again.

Here at The Last House, we’re here to help you restore the hope that addiction took away. While treatment provides us with the knowledge and practices to defeat addiction, it’s sober living that gives us the confidence that we can return to the real world and be even better than we were before. As men, there are certain things that we’re expected to do in this life, certain responsibilities that we’re expected to take care of. Sober living teaches us how to dive right back into life and handle those responsibilities with poise and tact, without the fear of returning to substances or vices. It teaches us some of the last lessons we must learn in order to be truly free– not just from addiction, but from the doubt that we may not be able to stay on the right track post-treatment.

What does sober living teach me?

Sober living is the first step in taking control of your life after treatment, and, as such, the lessons you learn in a sober living community will no doubt be of high importance. It may surprise you, however, to learn that the sober living spin on “teaching” is less about telling you what not to do, and much more about helping you expand your independence and hone your own decision-making skills. “Lessons” are traded for experiences, and “classmates” are your community brothers. At The Last House and most other sober living communities, we work to help you turn the person you already are into a better version of yourself that will be ready to take on anything life throws at you. In a way, if you had to categorize the sober living experience as “teaching,” then it would be fitting to say that sober living teaches you how to be a better version of, well, you!

So, where’s the whole “doubt” concept fit into all this?

If we pause and think for a second, we can probably all remember a time during our addiction where we doubted whether treatment was worth it. We may have taken a hard look at our lives up until that point, and decided that treatment would be pointless, and that we were better off ignoring our situation, or attempting to fix it ourselves. Of course, we didn’t know then what we know now about addiction: that, as The Big Book says, fighting it is all but impossible without the help of others (so we can’t be too hard on ourselves) but, regardless, we can probably all remember how much doubt and helplessness prevented us from reaching out for help sooner.

These behaviors are learned. Through no fault of our own, our addiction takes our mind and body hostage and forces us to do things, think things, and crave things that we would have never done otherwise. Through treatment, we learn to get to the root of these causes and beat that addiction, but it’s via sober living that we hone the skills we need to stop doubt and helplessness from creeping back in even after our treatment.

At The Last House, we train ourselves to beat doubt and those feelings of helplessness by focusing on building our independence and a strong sense of community. Everything we do in our sober living community hinges on our being accountable to our brothers. Even something as simple as being late to dinner invokes a consequence. The goal is that by training ourselves to be responsible for the sake of others, we will learn to be responsible despite of ourselves. After all, it’s a lot harder to doubt what we can do when we’ve practiced doing it for others. As The Big Book says, learning to take responsibility for others is the spirit of successful recovery.

Through our sober living community, we learn how to use experiences and community to become even better versions of ourselves. In so doing, we eliminate feelings of doubt and hopelessness, replacing them with hope for and confidence in our ability to excel in the future. There’s no magic going on here, and everything we learn is already inside of us. Sober living just helps us realize it!

The Last House is a men’s sober living facility in West Los Angeles. Our talented staff and carefully cultivated approach to sober living helps us churn out amazingly talented, self-aware gentleman, primed to make a difference in their communities. Call us at
1-866-677-0090 to start your plan today!

Let Your Feelings Fuel You

by Recoverytreatment

Let Your Feelings Fuel You

Ever notice how fierce competitors like to get slapped before the start of an intense fight? It’s not because they like the pain. It’s because the pain fuels them.

Sober living is a lot like that slap in the face. It’s gonna hurt like heck, but if we let it, it can make us even more amped up to go out and take control of our lives when we graduate. If we end up liking it, we’ll see gains in our lives like never before.

The Big Book is very direct about the importance of pain in recovery. “Pain is the admission price to a new life,” it says. It also says that eventually, we “begin to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.” Couldn’t get much clearer than that.

Sober living isn’t designed to hurt us, but it is designed to help us work out those kinks in our lives that we either thought no one knew about, or genuinely forgot about ourselves. Once we recover from addiction, we learn very quickly that there are things and people in this world that will stop at nothing to see us back where we were– helpless and on our backsides. If we don’t learn to trim ourselves of all of the extra mental and spiritual fat we put on in the years leading up to our substance use, it’s going to be quite difficult to get through some of the tough times we might face after graduation.

We do that by being real with each other in sober living. We’re accountable. We work as a unit. We learn respect, punctuality, and how to build the right kind of pride. We may feel picked on or like we can’t keep up with the demands and rigor that sober living requires, but we’ll never feel alone. Using these feelings to push ourselves to work harder, make smarter decisions, and step outside of our comfort zones is the only way to do things here. If our feelings aren’t fueling us, we’re doing something wrong.

Sober living is like P90X for our feelings. Ready. Set. Go.

The Last House is a premier men’s sober living facility based in West Los Angeles. We turn men into gentlemen by helping them build the skills and confidence they need to demolish the competition: the real world. Call 1-866-677-0090 to see how we can help you, your son, or your husband today!

Recovering for the Future

by addictionRecovery

Recovering for the Future

Page 119 of The Big Book offers a simple, comforting look ahead for the wives of men that were a part of the inaugural AA groups of the1930s. “Your family is reunited,” it says, “alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future.”

Itn the 1930s, this would have seemed all but impossible to many of the wives that might have read this. Their husbands had no doubt struggled with alcohol for years, and the mere thought of their being able build a future together soon was probably a lot for them to take in.

It happened, though. As Alcoholics Anonymous began to flourish, so, too, did the lives of many of its attendees, including several of these husbands. Over time, AA and its practices have become a staple in many recovery communities, and the 12-step process, introduced so, so long ago, has only continued to grow in its use and effectiveness.

As a men’s sober living facility, we here at The Last House work to be able to make that same kind of promise to the families of the men we live, work, and learn with. We aren’t AA, and we aren’t a treatment facility. We’re the bridge that links men from these places back to the real world, and, as such, we have the important responsibility of giving our brothers the tools they need to be able to create those successful futures with their families, friends and loved ones.

We do this by combining the principles set forth by our forefathers in the AA community with a focus on unity, life skills, and peer support. Our process is strict, but fair, and the bonds we form with the men that walk through those doors are bonds that won’t easily be broken. As a unit and a family, we tackle problems, situations, and tough issues head-on, while learning to navigate through whatever life throws at us with poise and confidence.

How does unity help me recover for the future?

The Big Book couldn’t be any clearer about the importance of unity for our personal recovery: “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.”

Recovery is a wholly collaborative process. As The Big Book states very early on, we alone are powerless against addiction. After all, if we were able to fight it on our own, there would likely be no such thing as addiction in the first place. In a sober living community like ours, we stress the importance of being able to rely on those we trust to help us make it through tough times. It’s no secret that a burden is lighter when shared by many people. Unity to us means holding our brothers accountable for their actions, and taking full responsibility for our own. It also means reaching out for help from a friend instead of thinking that we have to do it all on our own. Remember, in the real world, there’s often little opportunity for “re-dos”. Learning to enjoy, appreciate, and utilize the power of unity is a skill that is absolutely necessary for the future, specifically when it comes to dealing with potential problems that we might not know how to face on our own.

Unity isn’t necessarily a difficult concept to understand, but it’s learning to reach out to others, to use the resources provided for us, and to put the good of the group before ourselves that really makes all the difference. As men we can be proud, and while it’s admirable to be confident in ourselves, we sometimes confuse haughty pride for true confidence and end up dealing with the consequences the hard way. At The Last House, we teach that unity doesn’t mean that you’re showing weakness, but that you know how to work with your brothers to become even stronger individually. It’s in working together that we learn how to build that true confidence in ourselves and those that we support.

Life skills for the future

If there’s one thing sober living communities teach us, it’s how to prepare for life. As a segway between the treatment center and the real world, the sober living process strives to provide us with the tools we’ll need to become viable, contributing members of society, to take care of our responsibilities, and, as The Big Book asks of us, to be champions of the treatment process for others that need help. Here at The Last House, we teach men life skills for the future by encouraging them to be self-reliant and proactive in everything that they do. Whether it’s attending a court session or cooking dinner for their brothers, our men are required to be prompt, respectful, and dutiful in fulfilling the responsibilities they’re assigned. If they aren’t, consequences picked by the group hold them accountable and encourage them to get it right the next time.

Sober living is equal parts recovery community and real world experience. As such, our men get the chance to apply the skills they learn in our community to their day jobs, outings, and recreation outside of our facility on a daily basis. In doing so, they learn to build their self-reliance, confidence, and poise. By the time they’ve graduated from our sober living community, they aren’t just fitting into mainstream society– they’re excelling! We believe in the power of practicing the right habits, and The Big Book backs us up: “Our basic troubles are the same as everyone else’s, but when an honest effort is made “to practice these principles in all our affairs,” [we] seem to have the ability, by God’s grace, to take these troubles in stride and turn them into demonstrations of faith.” Practice really does make perfect, and the more we practice, the easier it is to transition into the real world with a bang!

The Last House is Los Angeles’ premier sober living facility for men transitioning out of treatment and into the real world. If you want more out of your life after treatment, call us at 1-866-677-0090 today!

Making Lessons out of “Losses”

by Recoverytreatment

Making Lessons out of “Losses”

Sober living wouldn’t be very effective if we didn’t feel comfortable screwing something up every once in a while. In fact, though sober living communities like The Last House are here to help us plot the right path to the real world, they also function as a great place to make the mistakes we simply couldn’t afford to make out there.

Why?

 

Because mistakes make us stronger, smarter, and better. The Big Book mentions mistakes eight times, and almost every time, it’s in encouraging us to do one thing: learn from them. Think about it- in just about everything we learn, mistakes are par for the course. Baby’s going to walk? He’s going to fall down first. Making the transition from a tricycle to a bicycle? Prepare for some scuffed knees. Driver’s permit time? More like time for some bumped orange cones.

 

If even the most fundamental lessons we learn in life are meant to be accompanied by mistakes, then why should sober living be different? It shouldn’t, and it isn’t. It’s okay to make mistakes in sober living. The important concept is learning from them.

 

The Big Book suggests we learn from our mistakes by analyzing them (“we [should] continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along.”) Here at The Last House, we add to that by making sure that we hold ourselves accountable to our brothers. We live in unity, and, as such, any mistake one man makes affects the team. This teaches us that every action we take affects more than just us, and that, no matter what, even in the wrong, we’ll always have someone to support us and lift us back up.

 

We can make lessons out of everything we do, but learning to make lessons out of mistakes in particular teaches us that our battles aren’t lost when we mess up, and that forward progress can be made even when we think we’re screwed.

Sober living doesn’t just teach us how to live as recovered men. It teaches us how to live as conquerors. Let’s slap a band-aid on and learn from our mistakes. When we put our minds to it, our forward progress can’t be stopped!

The Last House is a men’s sober living facility based in West Los Angeles. We know the tools men need to become recovery warriors, and we equip them everyday to take control of their lives and make gold where others said was bronze.

Call us at 1-866-677-0090 to get started today!

Perception is the Battle

by addictionRecovery

Perception is the Battle

What if the only barrier between you and an amazing life after treatment was your perception? What if the only reason you weren’t sure if you were ready for life after treatment was because you kept telling yourself you weren’t?

These are questions that many of us don’t quite know how to answer. The truth is, we don’t often like to admit that the only person in the way of our own happiness and success might very well be ourselves. It unsettles us to know that we may be preventing something incredible from happening simply because we’re afraid to give it a chance to happen.

For many men after treatment, however, this is the exact situation we face. We enter treatment with one mission: to get better. Once we do get better, though, our perception sometimes shifts from our treatment to our future. If we’re not careful, we may even become tempted to shrug off the things we learned in treatment and focus on the unsurety of not knowing what’s out there waiting for us.

Perception is powerful, and it plays a very decisive role in our lives. In sober living, we learn to harness the power of perception to change our fear into hope, and our insecurity into confidence. Just because the future is out of our control doesn’t mean we need to be afraid of it!

How does sober living change my perception?

As The Big Book indicates, it isn’t until we realize that we are helpless against addiction on our own and take the steps to get help that recovery can truly start. Likewise, it isn’t until we change the way we view life after treatment that we can really take the steps to make the most of it.

Think about it– if you’ve just graduated from an intensive treatment program, the last time you really had a go at the outside world was well before you ever stepped foot through the doors of that treatment facility. That could have been anywhere from three to six months ago. Perhaps even longer. Even if you went the outpatient route, your days were so structured and inundated with therapy, activities, and programming that you likely had little chance to involve yourself in too much else. While that intense schedule is perfect for treatment, you need a bridge between that kind of living and the rest of your life, which, more than likely, won’t be quite as treatment-heavy. Without that bridge, you may not be nearly as prepared as you should be to re-enter a world that can be anything but forgiving.

Enter sober living. The sober living environment allows you to gradually make the adjustment back to the real world, and in doing so, adjusts your perception of what awaits you after graduation. Think of it a bit like swimming. Jumping headfirst from the diving board into the deep end isn’t really the best method for learning how to swim, even if you have the skills to do it. Instead, one might suggest starting shallow and building your confidence before having a go at the deep end. We know which method we would try!

At The Last House, one of the things that makes our sober living community so successful is the fact that we champion independence. In our minds, there’s no better way to build up your confidence in yourself and your ability to excel after treatment than by giving you the room to do it. Community rules and guidelines are built by and for the brothers, and each man is responsible for keeping himself in line, and holding the man beside him accountable for his actions as well.

With increased confidence in our own independence and self-reliance, our perception of next steps, again, shifts considerably. We aren’t nearly as afraid to confront what awaits us in the real world because we’ve built the skill set we need to conquer it in sober living. Since sober living communities encourage our involvement in the outside world by mandating that we look for work, attend court dates, and engage in community outings, our return to the real world isn’t intimidating at all. In fact, we look forward to it. As The Big Book states, “from a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment.”

The last way that sober living changes our perception about life after treatment is perhaps the very best. In our sober living communities, we are encouraged to utilize our strengths and strengthen our weaknesses. Simply put, we rely on our brothers to help us identify areas of our lives that need some work, and collaborate to fix them. If we’re selfish, peer support can help us fix it. If we’re passive, group outings can boost our confidence. No matter what we may struggle with, there’s a sober living activity designed to fix it, and because of this, we graduate from sober living considerably more self-aware than we ever were before. Knowing our strengths and weaknesses and how to use them and deal with them gives us more confidence for facing the future!

The Last House is a premier men’s sober living facility in West Los Angeles that specializes in making gentlemen out of the men that come to us post-treatment. Call us at 1-866-677-0090 to see how we can help you gain the confidence to blow life out of the water after treatment!